Category Archives: The History of Fire Destroyers!

What In The Blazes?!?! The Yearn For Trusionistic Conflagration

I was just going to post two things before bed, but my eye caught this little masterpiece. Three explanations real “quick.”  A while back, I wasn’t able to continue my main short short story due to technical difficulties and indecisiveness. So, I asked the masses what type of story would they like to hear me right about. A few generic, lame answers came, but there was mostly silence. Far into the future, like two weeks later, some anonymous person, which I wish I knew who it was, stated their suggestion: “I’d like to read a story about a girl firefighter who is torn between the love for her job and the disrespect received from her ‘brotheren’ … or whatever kinda stories you want to incorporate.” Brilliant idea! So I started on that.

Secondly, for everything that I write, I imposed a rule on myself: If I don’t finish what I was writing and must leave or do something else, I must start completely over. Of course this caused problems, but I still enjoy the idea. If I write the same thing three different times, it would have plenty of variation. I can have notes, though and if I’m writing a story, I’m allowed to read previous posts.

Lastly, for this particular series, there’s an additional rule. The rule was originally for the next series I start on, but I decided that too many short short stories will delay the process too greatly, so the rule is for this one: I am not allowed to reread previous entries…up to a certain point. Maybe like 3 or 5 or something. So, this will probably be the most interesting of stories as it could repeat itself to a certain extent or even skip time so that confusion will be had. I like the idea, but maybe others won’t. Whatever. I kinda cheated, since I forgot about my rule until I started writing this intro, but I didn’t read the second part, so part 3 will be based only on the part 1…unless my commenters decide otherwise and want me to renege my rule just this once for a more balanced part 3, since it has been so long since I’ve written it. It’s up to you guys, but if no one responds, part 3 will be blind~


“JoeBoBen!!!!  Don’t you dare go in there. Can’t you hear the crackling of those flames? That house is done for!” “I only hear the voice of a screaming child; don’t worry,*theme music plays* I don’t plan on making a cliche phrase before I run into this burning building.” The loud fireman looked reassured now. “Hmm, guess I’ll gladly accept his resignation.  Now I’ll be top dog.” With the unfamilar silence further fortifying his doubts, he turns towards the fire red pumper. “Prepare the trampoline!!!” The radios of the crew blurts. *Did he really survive?* “Umm…actually, wait about 10 seconds.”  The rescue crew abruptly stopped in their tracks and stepped back.  *Crack/Crumple/Shatter!!!A television set flies out the window, leaving only the frame.  The sounds of flames were no longer heard, only the footsteps of 4 men + 1 extra, the sound of glass further shattering as it hits the asphalt, and the victorious music played by JoeBoBen’s boombox.  ”Who the heck do you think I am!” In a plume of smoke, a large shadow and small shadow jump from the paneless window, with the larger shadow wielding a remote control.  “Mr. Fireman, you’re awesome! Teehee”  “No, JoeBoBen the Fire Destroyer! is awesome.” *With what seems like an endless time period in the air* “Mr. JoeBoBen the Fire Destroyer! I want to be a Fire Destroyer when I grow…” *boing* The anti-dramatic trampoline catches the duo and dumps them on the ground with mild impact, while simultaneously the house crumples to the ground in an instant. “Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Don’t even finish that sentence young lady, women don’t have the guts to fight fires. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll have some paperwork for you by the time you’re old enough.”  The young girl had tears in your eyes as she looked up at the sunny sky.  ”Don’t worry little noobert.”  The child didn’t calm down one bit. “I wanted to be a secretary, but my legs are a bit too hairy for a mini-skirt.”  The child laughed, somehow knowing what the Fire Destroyer! meant.

~Some undistinguished amount over 10 years later

Come back here!  *The consecutive sound of footsteps can be heard* ”Heroes never run, I thought!”  ”Hahahaha, naw, heroes are lesbians!” A fiesty girl wielding a wrench can be seen chasing a hefty young man with a remote control. “Grrr, I’ll bash your head in.” “Maybe if you weren’t a woman, that could be seen as true Bwahahaha.”  ”Birdsooooooooooong” A loud voice bellows…rattling the unswept dust on the ground.