What In The Blazes?!?! The Yearn For Trusionistic Conflagration

I was just going to post two things before bed, but my eye caught this little masterpiece. Three explanations real “quick.”  A while back, I wasn’t able to continue my main short short story due to technical difficulties and indecisiveness. So, I asked the masses what type of story would they like to hear me right about. A few generic, lame answers came, but there was mostly silence. Far into the future, like two weeks later, some anonymous person, which I wish I knew who it was, stated their suggestion: “I’d like to read a story about a girl firefighter who is torn between the love for her job and the disrespect received from her ‘brotheren’ … or whatever kinda stories you want to incorporate.” Brilliant idea! So I started on that.

Secondly, for everything that I write, I imposed a rule on myself: If I don’t finish what I was writing and must leave or do something else, I must start completely over. Of course this caused problems, but I still enjoy the idea. If I write the same thing three different times, it would have plenty of variation. I can have notes, though and if I’m writing a story, I’m allowed to read previous posts.

Lastly, for this particular series, there’s an additional rule. The rule was originally for the next series I start on, but I decided that too many short short stories will delay the process too greatly, so the rule is for this one: I am not allowed to reread previous entries…up to a certain point. Maybe like 3 or 5 or something. So, this will probably be the most interesting of stories as it could repeat itself to a certain extent or even skip time so that confusion will be had. I like the idea, but maybe others won’t. Whatever. I kinda cheated, since I forgot about my rule until I started writing this intro, but I didn’t read the second part, so part 3 will be based only on the part 1…unless my commenters decide otherwise and want me to renege my rule just this once for a more balanced part 3, since it has been so long since I’ve written it. It’s up to you guys, but if no one responds, part 3 will be blind~

 

“JoeBoBen!!!!  Don’t you dare go in there. Can’t you hear the crackling of those flames? That house is done for!” “I only hear the voice of a screaming child; don’t worry,*theme music plays* I don’t plan on making a cliche phrase before I run into this burning building.” The loud fireman looked reassured now. “Hmm, guess I’ll gladly accept his resignation.  Now I’ll be top dog.” With the unfamilar silence further fortifying his doubts, he turns towards the fire red pumper. “Prepare the trampoline!!!” The radios of the crew blurts. *Did he really survive?* “Umm…actually, wait about 10 seconds.”  The rescue crew abruptly stopped in their tracks and stepped back.  *Crack/Crumple/Shatter!!!A television set flies out the window, leaving only the frame.  The sounds of flames were no longer heard, only the footsteps of 4 men + 1 extra, the sound of glass further shattering as it hits the asphalt, and the victorious music played by JoeBoBen’s boombox.  ”Who the heck do you think I am!” In a plume of smoke, a large shadow and small shadow jump from the paneless window, with the larger shadow wielding a remote control.  “Mr. Fireman, you’re awesome! Teehee”  “No, JoeBoBen the Fire Destroyer! is awesome.” *With what seems like an endless time period in the air* “Mr. JoeBoBen the Fire Destroyer! I want to be a Fire Destroyer when I grow…” *boing* The anti-dramatic trampoline catches the duo and dumps them on the ground with mild impact, while simultaneously the house crumples to the ground in an instant. “Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Don’t even finish that sentence young lady, women don’t have the guts to fight fires. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll have some paperwork for you by the time you’re old enough.”  The young girl had tears in your eyes as she looked up at the sunny sky.  ”Don’t worry little noobert.”  The child didn’t calm down one bit. “I wanted to be a secretary, but my legs are a bit too hairy for a mini-skirt.”  The child laughed, somehow knowing what the Fire Destroyer! meant.

~Some undistinguished amount over 10 years later

Come back here!  *The consecutive sound of footsteps can be heard* ”Heroes never run, I thought!”  ”Hahahaha, naw, heroes are lesbians!” A fiesty girl wielding a wrench can be seen chasing a hefty young man with a remote control. “Grrr, I’ll bash your head in.” “Maybe if you weren’t a woman, that could be seen as true Bwahahaha.”  ”Birdsooooooooooong” A loud voice bellows…rattling the unswept dust on the ground.

</Teaser>

~C3H6

Advertisements

Image is Everything?

One day, I got tired of people always talking about the way I dress or present myself, so I decided to write a little story to defend myself. I still feel this way today, but my views on my image has been altered slightly. I guess it comes with age or some mess.

 

Some say “A picture is worth a thousand words.”  Others say “Your actions speak louder than words.”  So from this, we can assume that actions/pictures or images > words.  Now that we know that “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt me,”   What about the other two?  Let’s take a good Samaritan as an example.  He is dirty and smell and looks hood, but he just saved a child from a burning building.  Now, would you think he would be feared or praised?  I’m pretty sure praised, but of course when you first see them, you would think they are a nobody and horrible person.  Now, let’s take a thug 4 lyfe, dressed in a nice suit and tie.  This powerful foe blows up Manhattan with only his ki.  Of course his suit stays clean and fresh. Is this guy a role model?  Of course not, but at first glance, he looked clean.

So, now we can finally have the correct equation for your life.

At first glance: Image > Actions > Words

99.9999999999872431% of life: Actions > Sticks and Stones > Image » Words.

So, make your actions count and leave me alone about how I look.  I don’t need a haircut all the time, nor do I need to dress like I’m 38.  Just shut up and follow my example as a true good person.

~Teh Frank

With Nothing But Sunshine Ahead, Enter ________?

This was my 48th entry on my old blog. I had no idea I wrote all that random stuff on there, lol. I was pretty wild 3 years ago, I read one post and I was super rude to someone… Glad I changed…slightly.  Anyway, this particular story is my first public short short story. I wrote it randomly and showed a couple of people it and it’s apparently a fan favorite. I’ve once heard “This story is good, but not nearly as good as that first one you wrote.” That awkward moment when a comment makes you proud and disappointed at the same time. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy. (Original post date: 3-9-11)

 

Hey you, STOP!”  A shoe salesman of considerable size can be seen sprinting down the alley, leaving behind a yellow plume of dust.  ”Man, he’s fast…”  The thief was so sure about his incredible speed until today.  With each step follows a heavy gasp for air; his speed is never decreased.  Now, you may be thinking that this is the hero of this epic story(not to be confused with an epic poem; no relation) and you could be correct, but let’s continue and see. The thief was finally making some distance between him and his pursuer, but there, yes there, ahead of him was…a dead end!  A pretty fine arrangement of bricks stood in the way of sure freedom and ghastly oblivion.  Surely, good will prevail over evil today.  ”Son of a…” The thief kept running despite the trap which lies ahead.  ”HA” Sadly, the readers do not get to see the act of retribution today as the thief makes a sharp left turn at the intersection.  If only this were some kind of animated series…the dead end would have surely worked.  No one seems to be able to turn left or right in those things.  

“Ok, I believe I can get out of this safely,” exclaimed the thief, but a dark shadow blots out the sun in this unbelievably bright alley.  Further believing in his speed, he somehow gathers enough strength to take it to the next level.  He no longer heard following footsteps, but just a bunch of wooshes. Faster…faster he goes, but the tailed shadow will not stop.  ”Now, I’ve caught you!”  Now, it can’t be the salesman, so who could it be?  The shadow finally starts to become something more than just a disfigured silhouette.  A rather obese, tall, and  actually quite ravishing individual lands immediately behind the thief.  ”You shall pay for what you have done!”  ”What exactly did I do?,” asks the thief, seemingly trying to buy some time to think of a masterful plan.  The third member of our story exclaimed “Well, you obviously stole something.  I believe it’s time wheeze to pay for your huff puff actions.”  The thief shifts into top gear, and the second pursuer seems to be losing his footing on him also…but then, again, a dead end.  The thief looked to his left…then to his right.  This time… “There is no escape, deep breath sir.  Admit defeat.”  The new guy is breathing as if he just ran a true marathon(Approximately 26 miles).

The thief looked hopeless, but smirked.  He obviously had a devious plan.  ”Alright, time to finally test this out.”  The caped man(Yes, he was wearing a cape.  Didn’t I mention this?) looked confused, as he should be.  “Shinkuu HADOUKEN!” The thief roared while facing the wall and having his palms thrusted out with the base of them touching.  His fingers were curled and his arms extended.  The spectator watched as nothing happened as though it was the single most amazing thing in life to ever happen.  The thief has failed his marvelous display of skill.  ”Well, it was worth a shot, I actually didn’t steal anything.”  The guy obviously didn’t believe him and took a stance that seemed like after he took action, it would pummel his foe into the earth from which he stood.  ”You will not be forgiven.” Just as he began to thrust his elbow forward(I mean, really?)  the shopkeeper somehow made it as if he knew exactly where they would be, even though he was left way behind. “Yes, we all know you are lying” he spoke as if more than two people were there and he somehow heard the conversation before he made it to the rest of the party.

The thief looked worried, then angry.  ”I told you I didn’t steal anything.  What exactly is your shop missing?”  Baffled, the shopkeeper remembered he didn’t actually see him stealing anything.  The newly formed party make it back to the shop and the shopkeeper watches his security camera tape, with the others standing in the back with the mighty power of ADHD. “Umm, can you guys pay attention for even one second?  The “thief” was telling the truth.  He didn’t steal anything.”  ”Then what did I just burn approximately 1,000 calories for?…give or take, of course.”  The hero, disappointed, sulks and walks out the shop.  ”Man, I’ve been following this guy for a week, because of all the shopkeepers around here chasing that boy daily, claiming he stole something.  What if he never stole anything?”  The imaginary cameras in your brain lose focus and begin to pan over to the “thief” as that loser we just left is not the protagonist.  Probably was a waste of space for this story.  ”What is your name boy and why are you terrorizing all the shops in the area?  I keep hearing about you and thought I would be the one to finally catch you. Do you know how much publicity I would have received for my store?”  The boy spoke…while looking slightly worried “They call me, ‘That One Average Guy.’  I really don’t know what this writer wanted to call me(oh snap, fourth wall…broken) but since I was called an average guy, I decided to dub myself Joeboben.  And my purpose?  Well, I just wanted to increase my running speed by taunting the fastest people in the vicinity.  It has actually worked out quite well, as you can see…or rather… feel HAHAHA!”  ”GET OUT MY SHOP!”  The shopkeeper roared, but he couldn’t keep a straight face at all; he knew that mess was funny. Joeboben, the man of pure averageness, takes off running, while smiling.  Based simply off the turn of events that has happened to him today, he knew that life would be quite grand for days to come.  You actually do not notice him because he is just so average and the daffodils around him are increasingly more interesting…mainly because he fades off into the darkness…at least in your imaginary brain camera.

“Well, one other thing. *BOOM* (The closing quotation mark exploded)  I am taking over as narrator, so I have no use for such atrocities anymore.  I am Joeboben and you will listen to what I have to say.  No longer will you see italics, no longer will anything be explained, no longer will I say ”no longer” after this.  Stay tuned, because Joeboben has been entered and you will not have to waitany longer.

~Teh Frank

Ceremonious Opening of Ceremony

So, apparently, every blog site asks this same exact question. I guess it’s like an opening ceremony of sorts, so I’ll just copy and paste like usual. Also, on my last site, people used to ask me questions when I first started it and I answered them publicly. So, if you want me to add those, let me know. And if you want to ask me a question and for me to post it publicly, let me know that, too.  Remember anonymous or whatever, it doesn’t matter.

WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

My earliest human memory is when I was two years old.  We were outside playing with minimum adult supervision, although there were a few 8-12 year olds.  We were playing outside and this guy named Quincy was out there.  He was apparently a bully because he was chasing people around and no one wanted him there.  Well, at one point, he flipped his eyelids and was scrolling his eyeballs left to right, chasing us younger ones.  Mess was scary and we were running around some raised wooden thing(The type of wood that was used for those old sandboxes) with dirt inside and a tree, then I told my cousin Krystal, also 2, to come with me as I ran towards my apartment door.  The slightly older children, including both of our older sisters, apparently were not intelligent enough to think of this on their own, so they followed us, but way later.  My cousin and I made it inside, locked the door and looked out the window as the other noobs banged on the door in horror.  The adults in the kitchen asked what was going on, but apparently wasn’t really interested as they went back to talking, while ignoring the bangs on the door. It eventually became silent. I believe they are all ok.

Welcome! Care to join me?

Hello people. This is my first completely publicized blog. Before only a few people that asked or whatever seen my other blog, but this one…this one is open to all.  It will basically be the same, but I shall only post short short stories(not a typo) and other things similar, like my personal interpretation of the Holy Bible. I can sometimes be a pretty controversial guy, so don’t come and be offended, because I mean no harm. I just believe what I believe. Also, don’t steal my stuff. You’re a thief and a liar if you do. No one likes those guys. You can share and all that type of stuff, but none of that using for personal benefit.

Please comment, please post suggestions; I want it all. Tell me if you didn’t like it, somehow liked it, wish I added something, or if I should just delete it because it is too uncool. If I ask for input or your ideas, state them. I don’t care if you’re anonymous. Everyone is the fuel to keep me going, so if everyone is afraid to state their mind, my mind will refuse also. That’s just the way it works, I guess. I would love to write for just me, but that just doesn’t happen.  So, let’s work together as a team and make some lame, uninteresting things happen.

At first, all I’m going to be doing is reposting things from my last blog. I’ll then categorize them, for better navigation or something, then eventually some new stuff. But if you guys actually exist, then all of this is going to be new for most. 😀

Lastly, my only rule is to limit profanity and don’t judge the way I write. If I don’t have an apostrophe or if the English isn’t what you learned in high school 100%, I really don’t want to hear/read it. Unless you’re like a English major or something, I can almost guarantee I speak English as well as or maybe even better than you. I just get lazy sometimes or that’s the way I speak under lax, everyday terms. All my “day before due” papers are B’s(One C, but that was Mrs. Kaiser; she doesn’t count).

I hope everyone enjoy this “project.” Cheers~

~Teh Frank